Ads on Facebook

Most of you probably have a facebook account... If you don't, well, you know there's advertisements everywhere we put our eyes nowadays so, I don't really need to explain this.

Today, while I was at work, I found some ads that were worth mentioning because 1- They look silly. 2- I'm stupid and I add my own commercial catch lines to them.

So, here's a few:

1- Here's the first one. Here's what the thing should be saying according to the picture.

"We took part in this 10-week personal journey to become non-smokers together, me and my best friend Alice. At the end of this experience, we ditched our husbands and became non-smoker lesbians. Become a non-smoking lesbian today. Call now 555-123-3456."

2- "Onions are Toxic to Cats!"

Really? In my book, if I tried to give an onion to my cat, she'd just ignore it. Are people really forcing their cats to eat onions by starving them or shoving onions in their mouths!?

And I know that it's an ad about a book sold by Canadian Tire but... The logo just looks TOTALLY out of place with no mention anywhere of Canadian Tire. And the cat looks like it's saying: "HALP! Dis sign ish follow meh aroun!"

3- City Driving... WITH CARS!

Um... Yeah. If you try to sell me your product with obvious and pointless facts... I will surely SURELY be interrested.

And I wanted to build a city with cows and camels riding on pogo sticks.

4- Product ideas?

"Come on in. So I heard you had an idea for a new product, Miss. X?"
"Yes. Yes. It's very good. It's like a dildo but made by Apple called iMakeLoveToYou."
"That's a wonderful idea... *pushes a button and 2 bouncers come in* Don't worry, there is no fee for our consultation. Guys... Take her out!"
"Wait, whut!?" *is smacked on the head*
"Oh, yeah, it's free... but we take your ideas from you! Call now!"


Again, a little glimpse to my weird brain while I'm at work...

What is more hateful than mornings?

More mornings.

I don't know if it's only me, but my alarm clock is out to get me... or make me crazier than I already am. I have this old alarm clock that makes the most obnoxious beep ever. The thing is, the first few weeks, it was fine... but I grew to loathe that noise so much... It's driving me insane. The only moments I have some peace from it is weekends... But I'm sure it's going to eventually figure out how to turn itself on and wake me up.

[Here a little drawing to represent my bedroom. (Yes, I don't have a bed frame so the mattress is on the floor.)]

And it always starts to ring when I'm having a good dream! Like, I'm riding a pony and there's rainbows everywhere and like is good and I'm super happy in my dream... And suddenly, it starts. "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!111oneone"

Me: "SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID ALARM!!!!"

And then it receives the hand smash of bad mornings.

And sometimes, I forget to turn it off afterwards so I'm like in the bathroom or cooking eggs and it starts again: "BEEEP! BEEEEEPP!!! BEEEEEEPPPPP!!!" I swear to god, it's out there to get me. This time, I turn it off and most likely completely unplug it... Can never be careful enough.

After the struggle of dressing up, brushing my teeth and making sure everything is turned off in my house... I finally leave for work. After walking all the way to the bus stop, I realize I forgot to put my earrings on. Well, too bad fashion sense, but I'm not going back to get them! And then I cry a little inside and start to feel like I'm the most ugly person in the world just because I don't have my freaking earrings on...

I finally get to work... Ahhh, finally some piece and quiet.... Yeah right! For two minutes maybe.

As more people starts to come in, the chatter starts to get more and more annoying. And then, there's the typing... And people listening to their iPod (and also iPhone, iTouch, iMakelovetoyou, etc.) way too loud that you start to wonder why the hell they aren't deaf yet.

So, you put your earphones on, log in on Grooveshark and listen to music yourself (Not as loud as them though)... But then, you get startled by the fact the previous user of the computer put the volume higher and it blows your ears to smittereens...

---

Also, we had another little discussion at work about insects and crawlies and the like and about eating them. Of course, I was the one stupid enough to bring up that topic... and I regretted it dearly. "So... I've heard that the United Nations are suggesting we eat insects to fight hunger in the world..."

Went along a little conversation and one guy saving that fried crickets with butter are delicious. Hmmm, no. How the hell can you put that shit in your mouth!?!? And... can you really be sure that the creep will not rise again in your stomach and starts to plan it's egg and they will evolve into super bugs and you'll just be some dead human with tons of bugs inside!!!!

(I decided to not make any pictures of  that. It was too gross and I didn't want to risk my graphical tablet to explode...)

Then, my superior started to point out that I have potent acids in my stomach and that it's impossible for that to happen. NICE TRY! I know now you're on their side... If I had so good acid in my belly, there would be two expected results: 1- My belly would melt and I'd die. 2- I'd have a super belly and I could spit acid at people and take over the world with my superpower....

(Now  that I look at this picture, I realize I look like a shoopdawhoop...)

Note to self: "Don't give out too many details about your world domination. People will start to find flaws and destroy your hopes with the power of words."

Words are powerful...

Especially KAPOW. I think it's the most powerful word in the world.

~~~~~~

Since I didn't write for a long and this post sounds so much like I'm only complaining about shit, well... Today, I cooked some vegetables and tofu and I made yummy yummy tortillas. ^.^ I'm still eating them as I'm righting this.

P.S. I wrote this post about 2 weeks ago, I was just too lazy to make the pictures >.<

Vending Machines in Work Places

First of all, a little note about why I decided to create a blog. Lately, I've been reading the blog Hyperbole and a Half and I've been getting cramps at how much that website is hilarious. So, this blog will be inspired from it and hopefully, will grow to have its own style. I do plan to make ridiculous and ugly drawings too, as some people might know of my awesome drawing skills.

Second, I think that there's time that I'm just so retarded and stupid that it's worth writing them down somewhere, so why not a blog? Also, as long as I remember that I'm doing this for myself and not for popularity, I shouldn't have any problems. (Yeah, right...) This should be only a reminder of how many stupid things there can be in one individual's life.

Third, now is the time to stop being all serious!

This is a conversation that actually happened while I was at work today:

Superior: "Oh... Did you see that email about the vending machines? They are going to up the prices again."

Coworker: "It's going to be cheaper to just go downstairs now..."

Me: "Well, what could be cheaper would be to buy a potato, cut it, bake it and eat it."

There was a little pause here.

Me: "Well, it could be even cheaper to just grow your own potato and do the same process."

Superior: "What about soil? Fertilizer? Time consumed?"

Me: "You can just use someone else's land..."

Again, a short pause.

Me: "But if you're going to steal something, you might as well just steal a potato chip bag in the first place. Less bothersome."

Superior: "Amazing how you managed to prove your point and destroy your reasoning in less than a minute..."

Me: "I'm THAT good."


Ok, it's not exactly those words that were used but it's pretty much how the conversation went. There's just a part in me that loves to explain things with too much details only to destroy everything I've build within mere seconds. I think it's part of human nature, like making tall building and having planes crash into them. If all buildings were equipped with a King Kong, that wouldn't happen.

I've also been talking about spiders and crawlies quite often and I've decided to make a graph to illustrate the correlation between the number of legs and the grossness:

I think it's self-explanatory.

That's it for today's post! Hopefully I'll have more tomorrow!

P.S. Before anyone asks, the title of my blog is lyrics from one of my favorite song...

First post of my new blog!

Being currently at work, I will keep this first post as very simple:


There's a few numbers of issues we encounter at work and here's one:

As you can see, even Internet Explorer itself claims to be shitty.


Stay tuned, I will definitely post some more.